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addicted
...if only it’s to something cool ._.

In an effort to save what little remains of my social life, I’m going to stop talking
about Travian 90% of the time and blog about it instead.


...since that’s what people with stuff no one else wants to hear about do


Saturday, 13 February 2010, 14:51
us4: More Onion Articles

Same as what I wrote in the forums....

Noobs Learn From Dirty Old Men
Noob alliances have decided to employ a new strategy to boost their ailing numbers: recruiting everyone.

“We got the idea from looking at interactions at bars,” explained one alliance leader who wished to remain anonymous to avoid being farmed, “I’m sure all of us have noticed how there’s always an old dude who hits on every girl, no matter how obese, ugly or out of his league she is. Eventually, they hit a girl with the right amount of intoxication and low self-esteem and they finally score a hit!”

“This method works,” concurs another noob who wished to remain anonymous for the same reasons, “We’ve gotten lucky enough to find some people playing Travian drunk and convinced them to join our alliance. Sure they leave immediately once they’re sober enough to check their stats out but for a while, we get to see our rankings boosted up!”

Reactions to this new policy is mixed. Many players have started a support group for those who were traumatized by the blow to their self-esteem when they saw their noob alliance membership once they’re sober enough to check stroke their ego by refreshing the stats page every 5 minutes. Many more are too ashamed to report the incident.

Rumours has it that top players such as Entity and Knights Templar are beginning to crack under the pressure of having to deal with additional noob mail.

The Travian Moral Police, however, are pleased as more and more players swear off alcohol and/or decide to engage in some RL white knighting and defend women they hope they could score with from dirty old men.

RED Insist People Get Educated
RED alliance members are getting annoyed with people not understanding their alliance page.

“Really, it’s not that hard to learn a bit about history!” ranted an increasingly agitated Dusty Bottoms, “Red Menace refers to communism and has absolutely nothing to do with that time of the month!! And it’s Lenin!!! Not Linen!!!! And I really don’t want to know what happened to your linen whe-“

The interview got cut off when he attempted to strangle our reporter for pointing out that Lenin does look like a typo of Linen.

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